


In the Comfort of the Dark

by enigmagnetic



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Bottom Killua Zoldyck, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Making Out, Mentioned Illumi Zoldyck, Mild Hurt/Comfort, No Smut, Pining, Pining Killua Zoldyck, Sharing a Bed, Sleeping Together, Sleepovers, Top Gon Freecs, eternally embarrassed Killua, only making out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:35:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29801646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enigmagnetic/pseuds/enigmagnetic
Summary: Set on Whale Island before the Greed Island arc, a little late night chat leads to Gon lecturing Killua about taking care of himself, and they enjoy it a little too much.-I suck at summaries, but the tags should say it all.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 10
Kudos: 96





	In the Comfort of the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> This is the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written.

“Killua?” 

The blanket Killua and Gon are both sharing shifts and rustles with the movement of Gon rolling over to face Killua, Gon’s arm resting on top of it. Killua, still facing away, peaks one eye open at the moonlight hitting the floor. It casts the shape of the window on the ground, including the silhouette of Gon’s pot plants. He vaguely remembers their names, but his mind is elsewhere right now.

They’re on Whale Island. Gon is officially a hunter. He’s going to find his dad, Ging. Killua is not a hunter, and he… what does he want to do? Gon is running towards something, his family, his goal. The only worthwhile thing Killua can do right now is run away (from his family, ironically). He can stand by Gon’s side, and stand he will. But what is he besides that? He enjoys being with Gon, everyone does. He even wins over the hearts of his opponents in battle. Why does Gon enjoy being with him? Sure, his assassin skills are handy, but bar that, his life is pretty surface level. 

“-ua? Killua, are you awake?” 

Snapping out of his thoughts, he rolls over to face the insistent boy behind him. Gon’s eyes brighten up a little when he does, and Killua tries not to enjoy it too much, but it’s a little hard.

You see, Killua is absolutely, unequivocally infatuated with Gon. Head over heels. Gon is strong, able to keep up with Killua. He’s young, and his youthful exuberance bleeds into his entire personality and, by extension, Killua’s life. Killua never knew someone could be so… happy. 

Growing up surrounded by the people he did— assassins, professional butlers, Illumi— Killua never got the proper… human experience. He didn’t have friends, he wasn’t allowed. He didn’t know what half the human emotions looked like, unless he saw them in the moments before he snapped his target’s neck.

Now, though. Now he has Gon in his life, and he’s never felt so goddamn much before. Where he used to look at everyone with calculating eyes, profiling people and making note of how powerful they were, Killua can only look at Gon with curiosity and… something else he can’t quite put a name to. It’d be an insult to try and put a label on how powerful Gon is. He seems to only get stronger and when you think you’ve seen his best, he one-ups himself. 

So for once in his life, Killua just wants to learn more and more and more about the boy currently laying next to him, with the cutest inquisitive look on his face, blinking once, twice, three times— okay, when did Killua start staring into his eyes like that? What did Gon ask? More importantly, how long ago did he ask? Had he really been staring that long? 

Killua furrows his brow. “What?” he asks, letting go of a breath that got caught somewhere in his throat sometime. Gon giggles, the subtle snicker where he dips his head and closes his eyes. Killua has noticed him do it a few times. He does it while covered in sweat and exhausted after a day of gruelling training, and he does it at times like these, before sleep takes him away. 

“I asked if Killua was awake, and it seems the answer is no,” Gon says cheekily, sticking his tongue out and nudging the other boy with his socked foot. Killua rolls his eyes lazily and settles on looking away from Gon and down at the space of bed between them. Gon’s leg is still invading his space, and his arm is still freely resting next to his head. He doesn’t know how he does it; take up space in the world, certain of his place in it. 

After a lengthy silence, Gon asks “What’s wrong, Killua?” and God, why does he keep saying his name? Hearing his own name said by such a pretty voice feels odd.

To Gon, Killua must look like a fish gasping for air, as he tries to figure out the mouth movements for the words he wants to say, but draws a blank. He instead settles on saying “Nothing, I’m just tired.” 

“Then why weren’t you asleep?” When does he ever get a good night's sleep?

“Because you woke me up, idiot!” Killua retorts instead.

“Liar. You’re tense. Your shoulders are all bunched up and you’re breathing way too quietly to be asleep!” Gon pouts, a sad scowl on his face. Killua has to resist the insane urge to squish his cheeks between his palms. His face heats up with the thought.

“Wha-! It’s not like I snore! And h-how would you know anyway?” Killua sputters. Ah yes, very dignified. 

Gon shakes his head, letting out an amused breath. “I’m always first awake,” he says simply, like that answers all his questions. 

Killua stays silent, letting a frustrated breath out from his nose. Of course Gon would pay attention to that sort of thing. Killua does, of course, as an assassin it is good to know if your target is really asleep or not. But he doesn’t really understand why Gon keeps that fact about him stored in his mind. 

“Is there something on your mind? You keep zoning out on me,” Gon asks, waving his hand in front of Killua’s face obnoxiously. His hand settles even closer to Killua than it was before.

“I just feel a little off, is all.” 

Gon hums, thinking for a moment to himself. “Have you ever heard of chakra?” He asks, eyes wide awake and curiously boring into Killua’s. Killua is sure that if he were sitting up, Gon would have tilted his head to one side like one of the woodland creatures they’ve run into in the forest surrounding his house. 

“Can’t say I have,” Killua answers honestly, shrugging the shoulder he isn’t laying on. Gon twists his mouth in thought, before sliding closer to Killua on the bed. Killua tenses, not used to such close proximity to anyone. He tends to stray away from physical contact unless it’s his family who is initiating it, and in that case he only allows it because the consequences of upsetting his mother is worse. Much worse. 

“Aunt Mito taught me about chakra growing up, says it’s good to recognise and take care of your chakra so your spirit doesn’t whittle away and become too damaged.” Gon says, and all Killua can think of is how Gon’s breath is now his own.

Killua shot him a weird look. He feels like if Gon were any closer, he would be going cross-eyed looking at him. He still had no idea what he was talking about. He’s also panicking on the inside, but he hopes that isn’t blatantly obvious on his face.

“Well, you can’t permanently damage your spirit, but it doesn’t feel good when it’s not thriving like it should be.” 

“Gon,” Killua says pointedly. 

“Right, right. Aunt Mito told me there are seven different chakras throughout your body, aligning with the spine.” As he says this, Gon reaches under the cover and over Killua, his hand finding a comfortable place lightly between Killua’s shoulder blades. His index finger presses into the bony spine, rubbing very tiny circles around the bump it rests on. Killua reflexibly straightens his spine a bit, making sure to keep his left arm still where it lies beneath Gon’s forearm. 

“If any of the chakras are blocked, your energy gets thrown off balance, and it’s said that blocked chakra can cause emotional and even physical pain.” Gon drags his fingers painfully slowly down his spine, ghosting over the gaps between the vertebrae. The action sends shivers throughout Killua’s whole body. He tucks his chin to his chest, and whines out “Gon.”

Gon doesn’t pay attention, instead carrying on. He splays his hand flat on the small of Killua’s back, turning it slightly so his fingers are dipping just under the hem of his shorts.

This is it. This is how Killua dies: of embarrassment. 

Gon presses his fingers into his tailbone, saying “The first chakra is your root chakra. It’s like the foundation. It grounds you as a person. Your identity.” His hand stills, his flat palm basically pulling Killua’s pelvis towards himself. 

“The second one is your Sacral chakra.” Gon moves his hand from his back, sliding it across his hip and placing it just below his navel. Killua’s shirt is riding up a little, and Gon takes advantage of that, tucking his hand fully under it. “This one affects creativity, and…” Gon trails off, looking down at where his hand is, instead of Killua’s face. “It also affects sexuality and pleasure.” 

Killua chokes on air, caught off guard thinking about those sorts of topics with Gon touching him so intimately. Blood rushes to his face, hotter and hotter, burning the tips of his ears and cheeks. He has a feeling it’s only going to get worse from here.

Gon clears his throat, and swiftly moves on. His hand has crept up and landed on his upper abdomen. “The next one is the solar plexus. A blocked solar plexus chakra will mostly cause self esteem and confidence issues.” Gon lightly brushes his fingers on the delicate, soft skin above Killua’s abs and just below his pecks. It sends static sensations in a wave across his skin, seemingly weighing down on him.

“The next one, I know you don’t have any problem with.” Gon presses his hand above his beating heart, feeling the erratic rhythm. “The heart. It represents your ability to love, kindness, compassion, however you want to say it. Good people have endless heart chakra. I believe it flows through your whole body, Killua.” Gon brings both hands out from under his shirt atop Killua’s chest now, exploring from his chest, to the front his shoulders, down his arms, simultaneously. “From your heart, to your fingers. You just don’t know what to do with it.” He grips his wrists, lightly grazing the soft, pale skin that hides blue veins underneath. 

Gon looks at his hands lazily through half lidded eyes, seemingly lost in his pale skin, thinking of something else, like he hadn’t just said something so monumental to Killua. 

At this, Killua shakes, and bursts at the seams. “How can you say that?” Killua asks coldly, attempting to aggressively snake his wrists free of Gon’s grip, but Gon refuses to break the contact, tightening his grip. “How can you say I’m- You know- You can’t possibly think- God damn it, Gon!” Killua wrestles with Gon’s grip, kicking and using his whole body to get the advantage. But Gon still doesn’t let go of his wrists, in fear Killua will turn away and end the conversation. So Killua sits on Gon’s hips, and uses his position to easily tear his wrists from Gon’s iron grasp. 

Killua has a crazy desperate look on his face as he holds his right wrist and sharpens his claws, keeping his hand in front of his own body, not Gon’s throat, like they’re meant to be used. “These hands are made for killing. I don’t think you’ve got it through your—” he flicks Gon’s forehead with his unsharpened hand, “—thick skull that I’ve killed people. Innocent people who begged for their life and I ended it anyway. How can you say these hands have love? I’ve never loved a person in my life!” 

Killua deflates and ducks his head in shame, eyes hidden under his white bangs, illuminated by the moonlight. The half of his face that is lit up feels oddly vulnerable. What he wasn’t expecting was for Gon’s aura to hit him like a sudden wave at the beach. In a flash, Gon is flipping their positions, taking hold of his wrists once again to pin him to the bed, beside his head. 

“Gon! What the hell?” Killua barks incredulously, craning his neck to lift his head as much as he can, baring his teeth like a dog. His frustration is overriding his mortifying embarrassment right now, which is the only reason he is able to resist the urge to squirm underneath Gon.

“I’m calling bullshit. You are full of love. Why else would you be here, rather than with your family?” Gon sneers. He’s not mad at Killua. Someone else, maybe, but not Killua.

Killua stiffens underneath Gon, eyes looking past Gon into another place, into someone else’s face. “I’m just being selfish,” Killua mutters, like it’s a mantra he’s repeated a thousand times today already. The only way Killua can describe the look on his best friend’s face is pride.

“That’s great, Killua!” Gon chirps cheerily, stifling a giggle at the sudden shift on Killua’s face. 

“Huh!?” Killua blurts out, drawn back to the present by pure confusion. He feels a sensation similar to an electric shock run from his hands to his throat as Gon slips his index and middle fingers to press into the palms of Killua’s hands. Only this sensation is pleasurable, if a little frightening. Killua swallows thickly.

“Well, I am trying to get you to take better care of yourself, aren’t I?” Gon has a soft, bright look on his face that Killua can’t quite read properly. He’s now towering over Killua’s face, a few defiant strands of hair falling down, smiling like he has nothing to hide. Killua also doesn’t understand that. 

“I-Idiot…” Killua mutters, looking away from the blinding light that is Gon’s smile. He finds he has to look away often, in fear of going blind. Gon laughs again, loud and in earnest. 

“The next one is your throat chakra,” Gon continues. Killua jolts again when he feels Gon’s right hand leave his own hand. Oh god, he’s gonna- “This one affects how well you communicate your thoughts and feelings.” And just as Killua feared, Gon’s index finger tenderly trails from under his chin to the hollow at the base of his throat, pressing in for a moment before his hand splays to lightly encircle his neck. “You definitely need help with this one.” 

And just like that, the air surrounding them is charged with tenson. Killua is positively red at this point. It feels as though his throat is spasming under Gon’s touch, as he tries to swallow the thickness but finds he can’t. This touch isn’t like when Illumi would hold him under the bath water by his jaw as a child to teach him how to hold his breath longer. Although his mind so nicely supplies this memory in his mind now, it is quickly discarded as Gon surprises him by resting his forehead on his own. 

Gon’s eyes are closed as he takes a deep breath in through his nose, hand moving up to cup his jaw. Killua is definitely committing the last few minutes to memory. 

“...The third eye chakra. Between the eyes and on the forehead. It is linked to creativity,” Gon says, opening his eyes a touch to look at Killua half-lidded. Oh yeah, Killua’s imagination is running rampant right about now. “People with healthy third eye chakra have great intuition, no problem following their gut.” 

A split second, torn into a million moments as Killua drinks down all the affection Gon is offering him through his eyes. 

“Killua, what is your gut saying right now?” Gon minutely tilts his head so his nose brushes the side of Killua’s, breath shuddering in a barely perceptible way. Killua lets out a high pitched needy sound. 

To shut himself up and prevent himself from embarrassing himself any further, Killua rushes forward with need. Want. His gut is saying yes yes yes as he desperately kisses Gon’s slightly parted mouth. Killua curls his fingers around Gon’s ones, the ones that are still pressing into his palm. Gon slides his hand up to intertwine his fingers with Killua’s, pressing their hands down to the bed with a force a little to powerful, and nothing has ever felt more right.

Killua gasps, his free hand coming up to hold onto Gon’s wrist as he strokes soft lines under his eye with his thumb. Gon breaks the kiss, sitting back on Killua’s stomach to look at him better, but keeping his head bowed and not too far from Killua’s. 

“Wow,” Gon says, stroking his cheek as he admires his best friend beneath him.

“Don’t just stop, you idi-” Killua snarls before he is cut off by Gon capturing his mouth again. This one feels different. It’s deeper, like Gon is trying to mold himself perfectly with Killua. And Killua can’t complain. He arches his back off the mattress, eyes lightly closed as he kisses Gon, as he kisses Gon. 

They find a rhythm pretty fast, Gon leading and Killua seeking him out between breaths. Normally, Killua would insist he be the one in control, but with Gon he feels such a profound sense of trust, he allows it just this one time. It’s not like Gon has complete control over him and his stupid feelings anyway, he would insist, but he knows that’s a lie. Gon has always had him. 

Killua feels something wet and warm on his bottom lip, seeking to pry him open, and he obliges. He feels absolutely weak as Gon explores the inside of his mouth, tasting and swallowing down every short, needy breath Killua gives him. 

‘This feels right,’ Killua thinks, eagerly pressing back against Gon’s tongue as he laps into his mouth. 

Eventually, they stop to catch their breath, to both their dismay. Killua decides he must look like a mess, if Gon is looking at him with eyes full of... something hungry. 

“Wait,” Killua lets out, out of breath still. Gon’s eyes widen slightly in concern, loosening his grip on Killua and leaning back a touch. Gon goes to remove his hands completely, but Killua tightens his grip on his hand and wrist like the world depends on it, and Gon smiles an amused smirk. 

“What is it, Killua~?” Gon asks innocently, making his name sound like a melody, and it’s Killua’s new favourite song.

“What’s the last one?” Killua asks, slouching into the bed, relaxed under Gon’s touch. “You- ahh, you only mentioned six?” 

Gon throws his head back and laughs, loud and warm. “That’s what you’re thinking about now? Killua, what-” 

Killua puffs out a deep sigh of frustration. “Well, I, uhhh. I enjoyed learning about the other ones. So, where’s the last one?” 

Gon doesn’t reply, only moves both his hands to slide up the sides of Killua’s face, into his hair, threading his fingers and tugging with a tad more force than necessary. Killua complies and tilts his head back with the grip, chin and throat bared to Gon. 

Gon brings his head down to his throat, teeth and nose grazing along the underside of his jaw, hot breath dusting his skin. “The crown chakra. This one is linked to all the other chakras. It represents your connection to your life’s purpose and spirituality. If this one’s messed up, they all are.”

“So what are you meant to do to fix it?” Killua manages to ask around a multitude of short breaths.

“Well, for one, focussing on and controlling your breathing,” Gon says, nosing around his neck in search of something.

“You’re making that a little hard right now.” 

“Hmm,” Gon hums into the crook between Killua’s neck and shoulder. Gon must have decided this was the best spot, as he gently kisses it, which Killua was not expecting to feel as amazing as it did. Then, there’s teeth and Killua can only loop his arms around Gon’s neck, as his hair is pulled again and his brain short circuits. 

“Gon,” he groans out, sounding more wrecked than he wants to. Gon sucks harder at the spot he’s been working at, Killua’s hands now threading through the hairs at the nape of his neck. He nibbles once more and smoothes his tongue over it, ditching it in favour of running his tongue up from the base of Killua’s throat to his chin. “Jesus Christ-” Killua curses, unable to fight a full body shiver. 

Gon leans back to admire the work he’s done ruining Killua. Seemingly satisfied, Gon eases his grip on Killua’s moonlit white hair, placing his hands on his chest instead. He leans down for a quick, chaste kiss, then lifts his leg to roll off the boy beneath him. He doesn’t go far, though, as he stays on his side, one hand drawing light patterns on Killua’s bare stomach where his shirt ended up riding way too high. 

Killua stays on his back, turning his head to be met with Gon’s adoring eyes. It’s almost hard to look at, but he can’t look away. Then, to his utter surprise, a blush dusts Gon’s cheeks, accentuating the array of freckles high on his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. 

“I may… like you. A lot,” Gon admits shyly, looking away from the icy blue stare of his friend. 

“Uhh…” Killua doesn’t know what to say. Should he know? He lifts his hand to clasp the one Gon has on his stomach. He raises it to his face, pressing a kiss to the heel of Gon’s hand. He guides it to rest on his face again, mind still reeling from the events that just transpired. He may not know what to say, but he can show Gon. 

He smiles as Gon looks back up to meet his eyes, softly gripping Killua’s face, and Killua leans in to kiss him on the side of the mouth, planting a smile there afterwards. Gon giggles, leaning closer to snuggle his face with Killua’s.

“I take that to mean you like me too?” Gon asks, and Killua chuckles at the absolute absurdity of that question.

“Duh,” Killua says, lifting his arm so Gon can rest his head on his shoulder and resting his other arm on the impossibly small waist of Gon’s. He turns to face him, chin resting on Gon’s loosened spiky hair, pulling the smaller boy flush against him and tangling their legs together. Gon relaxes in his hold, letting out a long sigh as he closes his eyes. 

Killua does the same, and lets the pull of sleep drag him slowly under. He wonders why he was ever uncertain of his place in this world, when it’s so clearly here, in this bed with Gon’s breath warming his neck and the sweet scent of his recently washed hair clouding his senses. 

It’s no coincidence when he wakes up nine hours later feeling completely rested.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know how well this turned out, but it took a surprising amount of time to write. So. Hope you enjoyed? First time writing these characters, so hope it's not too OOC!


End file.
